Write and Create for Yourself First | thoughts on fanfiction, art and external validation
When it comes to fanfiction, or any creation for that matter, so many people judge their own fics, art and talent by the amount of interaction with it.
I only know because I recently used to be one of them.
For people who seek external validation, if they have a story that has a thousand kudos or notes, they consider it worthy.
But if it has only 2, or god forbid none, then they feel like it wasn’t good or they “wasted their time” writing it. But that’s just not true, and it’s such a hurtful way of thinking about yourself and your own work. It’s only human to feel drawn towards external validation, but it’s your choice whether or not to chase it.
I implore you to think about it a different way, and hopefully make you feel a little better if you are the kind of person who thinks this way. Because in most cases, kudos, likes, comments, interaction—it’s a reflection of exposure, your current following, the luck of an algorithm, the traffic to that specific corner of the internet, or just how niche of a genre you’re creating in.
Not talent.
Think about this: imagine someone you idolize, respect or even envy the talent and success of. It could be a famous musician, author, a fellow fic writer—anyone who is successful and talented.
Now ask yourself: if no one in the world, not one single soul, ever saw any creation this person ever made…
Would it make that person any less talented?
If that famous musician never shared their music with anyone, are they no longer talented? Are they any less worthy of feeling confident in themselves and their work? Should they feel any less about themselves because they don’t have anyone validating their talent and ability?
If your favorite book writer kept their stories to themselves and never shared them, are they any less brilliant?
No.
But society makes it seem like it.
Think about your favorite books or movies or fanfics—(not your own, but someone else’s work that you love)—that don’t have a lot of kudos or likes or engagement. You love this story/creation. It touched you and you can see how incredible it is. Does it matter that the rest of the world doesn’t? Does it make you love it any less? Do you look at the kudos count and then say “Oh, wait, now it isn’t good anymore.” How many times are you commenting on something saying “I can’t believe this doesn’t have more comments/likes/etc!”
Do you realize how many people say that about the fics you’ve written that have little engagement? Even if they don’t tell you, there are people who are thinking it. There are countless posts and comments on tumblr from people who admit they don’t comment because they simply are shy or don’t know what to say.
External validation is a dangerous hole to fall into. Because the more you reach for it, the more you rely on it, the deeper you fall.
The easiest way to avoid falling into that hole is to look at your creation the moment you’ve created it, and capture the feeling you have right then and there. What does it make you feel? Did it help you cope? Did it make you smile or laugh? Did it make you cry and ease some of your emotional weight? Did you just feel that you created an incredible thing, and that you love it so much?
Someone liking it or not liking it doesn’t change what you feel in that moment.
Sometimes, you just have to wait for your time. Maybe your creation needs a few years and then it’ll get noticed and you’ll be rolling in success.
Does that mean you’re supposed to feel sad and invalidated until that happens?
Keep reading
